Update 2/10/10: Cavs will restore water fountains, saying H1N1 threat has passed. Oh, yeah. Policy also violates state building code. Doh! Maybe they can use water from fountains to wash egg from faces. Did I call this? Huh? See last paragraph.
You may have heard by now that the Cleveland Cavaliers have turned off the drinking water at the Q. That’s right, if you attend a Cavalier’s game you won’t find a water fountain anywhere. Team management has ordered them removed.
According to this piece from the Plain Dealer, the Cavs’ maternal instincts kicked in, so team management has pulled the drinking fountains to save us all from H1N1 and other furry boogers that might make us really sick. Thanks, Mom!
That what he said. Cavs’ PR man Tad Carper, quoted in the PD, said his team gets its health-related advice from the NBA and the International Association of Assembly Mangers. So I guess we shouldn’t blame the team for this policy, right?
Turns out, the NBA and the IAAM have issued no recommendations about drinking fountains in arenas. PD reporter Gabriel Baird — being a realworld journalist and all — actually called to verify this fact — or non-fact, as it were. He also learned that no other NBA arena has shut off the water.
Yeah, I know. This one’s starting to stink.
Need water at a game? No problem. You may 1) purchase bottled water for $4, or 2) ask the concession stand for a complimentary 9-oz. cup. To put that size in perspective, my urologist uses 9-oz sample cups. No kidding. I was there last week!
So whom do we believe? Is closure of the drinking fountains really a benevolent gesture by a team management? Or is it just another way for a big sports franchise to pad concession revenues?
Even if the policy was well-intentioned — and I’m having trouble swallowing that — it’s being perceived and portrayed as pure corporate greed. And yep, I’m doin’ my part to stir up discussion! It’s what I do.
I don’t pay much attention to the NBA, or basketball in general. I do watch Cavs games on TV just to see the super-human work of LeBron James. But I’ve never been to a Cavs game at the Q and have no plans to get there anytime soon.
And I have my reasons. You see, I drink a whole lot of water, and I’m not about to pay $4 a bottle when I have this perfectly good tap. And at and my age, I hit the bathroom a lot. Just ask my urologist.
Wait a minute. If the Cavs really cared about diseases transmitted in the arena, they’d close the public crappers. They’re a whole lot more germ-invested than the water fountains.
P.S. I’m scrambling to get this post up before Cavs owner Dan Gilbert orders the drinking fountains reinstalled. If he doesn’t do that by the end of the week — well — I’ve already called bullshit. What more can I do?